If you hit 40 and you’ve never clapped cheeks, you don’t level up… you evolve into a Wizard, my guy.
When a Virgin reaches the age of 40 without ever having sex, they undergo a tragic transformation into what's known as a Wizard. But not the cool, Gandalf-type. This dude’s body mutates: long limbs, hunched back, hair either falls out or grows in cursed clumps, eyes go cloudy like a fogged-up browser tab, and… his bulge shrivels to half a peanut.
The transformation is irreversible. You are now Him™️. The Wizard. Despite the name, it’s unclear if he can actually use magic. Probably not.
The Wizard was born from old-school Reddit and 4chan (/r9k/ specifically), part of the “Virgin vs Chad” memeverse.
Originally created to roast men who isolate themselves and blame the world for it, the Wizard became an iconic meme figure — a cursed evolution of the terminally online.
Ticker:
$WIZARD
Supply:
1b
Tax:
0/0
Evolution Path
1. Age 18 – Discovers the internet
2. Age 25 – Stops socializing, starts worshipping anime waifus
3. Age 30 – Full “Nice Guy” arc begins
4. Age 35 – Balding, sleeps with body pillow
5. Age 40 – Final transformation: becomes a Wizard. Game over.
He’s the ghost of your “Reddit if you never left the house” future.
